is there poodle in my noodle

It is easy to get frustrated with the UK’s cronyism and sleaze. Years of Brexit and covid-related scandals under the Tories, followed by incompetence, backtracking, and infighting under Labour. Meanwhile, the menacing threat of right-wing populist leaders sweeping into power. However. This is a drop in the ocean compared with what the Indians are enduring.

In the words of yesterday’s waiter: “The poor people keep the streets clean, and it is the rich who make them dirty.” It has been a common theme during chats with locals; nationwide endemic corruption that keeps the poor on the breadline, while the cream at the top syphon crippling backhanders. Unless you are born into wealth and the right caste, options here are non-existent.

Very little money reaches its original intended purpose. For example, to combat the ‘dog problem’ in Karnataka, the state east of Goa, one woman told us that the government had earmarked three fridges to store rabies shots and the equivalent of £100,000. By the time the money had reached the specialists on the ground, it had dwindled to one fridge and £20,000.

In Transparency International’s 2024 Corruption Perceptions Index, which scored countries on a scale from 0 (highly corrupt) to 100 (very clean), India scored 38; 96th among the 180 countries. A 2005 study by the same organisation found that more than 62pc of the people had firsthand experience of paying bribes or peddling influence to get services performed in a public office. Both government regulators and police share in bribe money, to the tune of 43pc and 45pc each. Maybe unsurprising when a police officer here earns about £340 a month, while the cost of living in Goa, for example, ranges from £340 to £500.

Among the working man, the prime minister Narendra Modi – omnipresent on posters and billboards on most streets – is a divisive and often resented character. As a member of a Hindu nationalist organisation, he is accused of fuelling polarisation and ostracising Muslims (more than 14pc of the population), using hate rhetoric, and ‘divide and conquer’ policies.

He has cracked down free speech, removed workers’ rights, curbed press freedoms, and centralised power to bypass parliamentary debate, and award contracts as he pleases. Local store holders and restraunteurs speak with frustration and hopelessness about how government grants disappear from millions to hundreds as middlemen take their cuts. 

But as with any fanatical and populist leader, many back Modi for his strongman nationalistic image and humble origins; his ability to ‘get the job done’; economic policies (that benefit the few), as well as protector of Hindu and “outdated” traditions (in the words of one modern woman we spoke to).

Eye-opening, to say the least. The NHS, social security, pensions, public safety, and relative wealth for all, which in the UK we consider the norm, here, are unthinkeable. We are taking a few moments every day to be grateful for what we have at home, flawed as it is.

Jem would like to add that he can’t wait for a Gregg’s Cheese and Bean Slice 😂😂